But as noted in the piece, you can’t separate the character when using the guy’s actual wife as the presenter of these awards. She wasn’t the Ultimate Warrior’s valet or something.

Manziel to AEW?

Trump. Say they got Trump.

Next up on Deadspin:  Let’s Remember Some Horses

Right?  When I saw the headline I thought “Must have been the only game ball, was it a delay of game penalty?”

In this case, “unsportsmanlike conduct” is cover for “Dude, we can’t afford to replace that ball, and we only have this stadium until 7pm!”

one of which triggered an array of porn to be broadcast onto a wall for the entire office to see for more than 20 minutes, until a tech employee killed the feed.

It’s fun thinking of the litany of excuses a technician must have given as to why he was unable to shut off the #dp (double penetration, for those who are worried about looking it up at work) feed for a full twenty minutes.

Browns Better Win! #bbw

Browns Marketing Executives: “Well, that #dp promotion sure didn’t work. I wonder how our new Browns-branded debit card with unlimited withdrawals from automated teller machines is being received on social media. Hey Kyle, let’s put the feed back up but change the search to Brown ATM, ok?”

You want the raises of govt worker? Get a govt job. Take your own adivce, bro. Your bootstraps are right there.

“That the entire federal government has put millions of people’s livelihoods in jeopardy”

This is incorrect; only two people have, Donald Trump, for refusing to back down on a wall that is useless and that almost no one wants, and Mitch McConnell, for refusing to allow a vote on various spending bills because he…

Here’s your story,

This might be quicker...

Welp, be sure to have a good answer ready when asked to choose the form of The Destructor.

What’s the big deal about souvenirs? Is it really so hard to remember an event that you need some sort of physical stimulus? I get mementos from major life events, like the little hospital bracelets that your babies wore after they were born, but a ticket stub from a ball game? Our society fetishizes clutter.

It’s taking all my willpower not to give in to how much this hits home.

4 minutes of rocking back and forth to gain the momentum to stand up out of bed.

Wouldn’t an unusual result be him passing his drug test?

This will look funny, but if you put them in upside down, they provide a snugger fit and block out more ambient noise. You kinda look like Uhura on Star Trek tho