How'd they get a video of me on my wedding night?

How was Kenny McCormick able to afford playoff tickets?

You have to be careful or you could develop painful hemorrhoids or rectal prolapse. What I do is poop, wipe, wash hands, realize I have to wipe some more, wash hands again, then stand in the bathroom for 10-15 more minutes and play a game.

I once got clowned during an interview with other candidates. At dinner, I just wanted a light beer. The other candidates ordered these fancy IPAs and said "I want a real beer, not a wimpy light beer." Sometimes I just want a light beer!

Those games are so small I lose them all the time. So I will download my games

Choosing the Drifter's to sing White Christmas? They should have sang a Christmas song names "Fucka White Christmas!"

I'm no mathemetician, but men have to wash their jeans less often than women because there is less mucous membrane exposure.

Is that the "Pooky, let's burn this muh'fucka down!" guy?

Two where babies spent, one in the shit vent.

"A grill."

Fake. Cleveland would never be up against Portland.

The way they do things down there, Alabama and Auburn take turns being in each other.

For not doing it more?

Maybe the Lakers forgot that they amnestied Metta World Peace.

I bet it smelled like hot beef stew with lots of onions.

You mean you don't like to watch moderately large men hit someone in the back with a forearm, gloat for 30 seconds, then do it again?

Mongo was U.S. champ during the height of WCW's power, a member of the Four Horsemen, and introduced us to Debra. How is this a failure?

All hail the MAC lineman. Not big enough to go to Ohio State, but big enough to stop by your house and collect your gambling losses.

Thank you. I will buy this but only when they get it all fixed. You saved me some money this year

What, he did a nice job on the offensive glass.