"There's a 350-lb. former MAC lineman standing outside in the hallway making sure of that."

Maybe Ariel had a restraining order against the entire WNBA.

Oh noes. Where else can I find a mediocre football game to watch?

The floating head should have been Nelson Cruz and the Ranger's logo is a PED

So wearing a jersey of a player that isn't in the game impresses you? Come to a Browns game and you will find that 99% of the jerseys are of players not on the field.

Brandon Weeden put on a wig and fought Santino Marella? Has he given up on football already?

When I have the Bengals game on, my wife often asks if I am watching all male porn. The answer is usually yes.

Ray Lewis could have stopped the party bus if he and his friends saw it outside an Atlanta club.

Andre Perthier

Yaisel Peeig

Maybe he is getting mentally prepared to use the restroom, just in case Big Ben shows up behind him.

Is that a pair of breasts I feel on my back? Ben Roethlisberger, when are you going to learn that no means no?

They should Leavy a fine against these guys.

I guess you can say she is...M.I.A.

The Browns are taking the Ray Lewis approach. Sometimes you have to cut deep to get to the Super Bowl.

Hold on Browns fans. This is a Jimmy Haslam owned team. Maybe we told Indianapolis we would give them Trent Richardson, but we really send Bobby Rainey and hope that they don't notice.

I tried to make this trade on Madden 25. The Browns rejected the deal.

I'm glad we picked Hoyer. I don't want a QB that looks like a male cheerleader or Steve the Pirate.

At least it wasn't butt mud.

Maybe Ray Rice did a spit take when Phil Taylor told him that he was cordially invited to an afterparty hosted by Ray Lewis.