In college it once snowed two feet and classes were cancelled. I did what any respectable student would do and walked downtown to the bars. My friends and I stopped for fourth meal at the downtown late night taqueria where I got a burrito. I did then what I consider a real adult thing of cutting the burrito in half so…

Chipotle. 

what kind of dicks are you sucking

Well said, girlfriend. I’m putting my earrings and my shoes back on now. 

Well, there was the time I consumed my own semen. The “why” is a long story, but I was surprised by how bland it was, though it ended up getting me high for some reason.

“I feel like Mexican tonight!”

I once went to a minor league baseball game with my dad and after the game sugar ray played and the singer started going into the crowd. My old dad started dancing and mumbling some sort of words and then I saw sugar ray approaching him then quickly do an about face and start going the other way. I still laugh at the…

I am here for this nuanced breakdown of Nazi Germany political history.

I think it is because they like to make arguments like, “What if MLK Jr had been aborted, hmmmm?” and they anticipate that it is literally equally as valid to respond, “Well, what if Hitler had been aborted?” And so he is preemptively saying he wouldn’t abort baby Hitler in answer to a hypothetical response to…

Well, you can “poor Wendy” her, but I’m fine with it.

Hey Cannibal Witch, is a child a hot dog?

Farrakhan should have been cancelled when his “time” passed, much like Cornel West. The way to victory isn’t to keep fighting invisible enemies.

When you’re a black Muslim in a white Christian nation, you’re going to be a target. Speak to that. The dude could still be relevant and not problematic if he did that. Don’t…

Cannibal Witch / Babbadook 2020

Cannibal Witch tells it like it is and she loves to eat Buttery Males!

Have you tried Rothy’s loafers? They aren’t cheap but they are comfy and can be washed. Here’s a link for $20 off your first pair, if you want!

but her e-meals

... a distracted executive may make rash decisions ... 

It’s a nice touch that the cards are orange as well

I’m starting to think that this family is corrupt right down to the bone. Hmmm.

Everything but the Bagel is surprisingly good as a steak rub.