I like her, too. I have this whole fantasy where she and Ed Sheeran date and get married and live happily ever after. Of course, I have this other whole fantasy where she and Karli Kloss date and get married and live happily ever after. Really, I just want Taylor to be happy.

I think this may be a case more of me being a peasant who can't afford to have someone do my hair all the time and who actually doesn't care that much and MAYBE gets a touch freaked out about what to talk to the woman doing my hair about.

Clearly, I am an old. Because I sort of think this is supposed to be funny, but I can't really tell.

They're both adorable.

Heh heh. Nekkid. Heh.

I would be dead of heart failure either way, so it probably wouldn't make much difference. I startle easily.

A bajillion stars for that.

My asshole dog bitch slaps me pretty regularly. Generally it means, didn't I tell you to get up and put the food in the bowl? Why aren't you up? Get up. But sometimes it means pet me damn it.

The last time I dated someone was college, so please don't judge me. I would not go to the bathroom in front of my boyfriend (now husband). We were together for almost 2 years with me spending most nights at his place when he finally was like, "I have no idea what you do for going to the bathroom, but it's really…

Isn't Bill Maher an atheist? I remember he did that "documentary" about religion...Religulous? Something similar. Which only makes his statements weirder to me. This is a guy who is supposedly pretty anti-religion in general, but he's being very specific here. Maybe it's a Carlos Mencia mentality - I'm saying terrible…

That's kind of what I was thinking...plus, the salon chair is such a forced social contact. I feel pressured to talk to the woman cutting my hair, but I never know what to say. Feels like too much forced eye contact or something. So there is no way I want to go sit in the chair several times a week. No thanks.

I mean I don't cut it or color it myself, but...anyway, I thought the Dark Ages was back when women only got their hair done once a week and then never touched it themselves? I thought I was PROGRESSIVE for doing my own hair.

Own it. I'm a Basic Boring Bitch and married a Basic Boring Bro and we have a Basic Boring Life that I am quite happy with (my mother is super interesting which translates to almost psychotically dramatic. I chose my boringness. I'm at one with it).

There's no way he doesn't, right?

2 people who were each other's rebound relationship didn't last for eternity? Shocking.

I own dry shampoo, a round brush, and a blowdryer. So can I just do this myself? I mean, do I absolutely HAVE to pay someone else?

I was over Oprah when she introduced the world to Dr. Not a Doctor Phil.

I thought writing songs about every single failed encounter/relationship was Taylor Swift's thing? Seriously, Drake, have you learned nothing from Taylor?

Yeah, I'm still going to tell everyone that Paul Rudd saves lives.

Not that I know of, but apparently Mark Ruffalo is also a big fan of Paul Rudd.