I found a hidden dick in Garden State...

Seriously. Have they learned nothing from the Monica Lewisnky story? Presidents are busy, yo. They need to cheat with people who are already in the White House to save time.

I want Daisy and Anna to commit a series of fiendishly clever and totally untraceable murders, which nobody will ever suspect them of being behind, because, duh, it's Daisy, and sweet, kind, intrinsically good Anna. They could start with Mr. Bates, because everybody wants to kill Bates (let's be honest) and everyone…

Oh god yes!

Hullo, huge omission:

So, she gave you a trash can covered with trash that you can never throw in the can. It sounds like something Satre would give people on their anniversaries.

When I was in junior high we had this big antique wood-burning stove. We only ever used it to warm up the central part of the house during winter; it was mostly just a cool decorative piece. One year, my little brother (I think he was 11) insisted we cook the turkey in this ancient oven. He begged for days, promised…

Liquid thanksgiving - 2002
Stuffing:

In college one of my best friends, a curvy Greek girl with big curly hair and the fashion sense of an 18th century pin up, bedded Ralph Fiennes. I remember the text I got at like 7am: "I FUCKED VOLDEMORT AND IT WAS GLORIOUS." Apparently he enjoys Brazillian dancing and overpriced drinks in NYC, as well as charismatic…

That I'm straight.

You know how all those studies show that instances of rape decrease as access to porn increases? It seems to me that providing an outlet for pedophiles which doesn't include hurting children is a good thing. Pedophiles won't cease to exist because this doll is no longer for sale. I fail to see the benefit in…

1.) Did Guy Fieri and Donnie Wahlberg make a baby?!

According to another poll, 100% of people on my couch right now think Americans need to mind their own damn business.

Cool 26 is the age I had my tubes tied and closed up my baby making shop.

I just asked my boyfriend this and while I chose cheese and he did not, we both agreed it was a horrible Sophie's choice situation that we would not like to make.

I remember reading a Geneen Roth book where she was asked what she would rather give up for the rest of her life, sex or hot water.

Also — this is fucking creepy and invasive as fuck.

Elisabeth van Lawick van Pabst-Koch

Well, it's good that you've found a way to feel superior to both.