Blazing Saddles and the original King Kong, even if they’ve already started, I’ll sit through them to the end. 

Also try to use one when a kid is using it like a toy and the parents are yukking it up as the funniest thing they ever saw because jr just ordered 17 Big Macs. No thank you.

I offered my Netflix to three persons. One friend never used it because he didn’t like anyone knowing his viewing habits. The second friend never found anything she liked. The third person watched it almost 24 hours a day to the point that I knew he was streaming even when he wasn’t watching it. I changed my password…

She had her usual long convoluted excuse about how everything went wrong that day.  I told her I wasn’t interested and walked away. 

I stopped seeing a friend because she always ran late. She knew it and always had a bullshit excuse. I told her if she was late for my wedding the friendship was over. She was late. She is also no longer a friend. 

Jesus, I’m itching to smack their smug faces.  Sometimes violence is the answer. 

Chicken. My grocery store marks chicken 50% off the day it expires. I bought breasts, put them in the fridge and forgot about them for a few days. They seemed a little slimy and smelled a bit off but I figured cooking will kill any germs. Cooking does not kill everything. I spent the night and next day stretched out…

Should just stick with turkeys.  According to WKRP they can fly. 

I never talk about the tip, I just give it. 

A friend with no personality often hits on waitresses in the firm belief that they find his 50 something pudgy pasty dad wearing jeans persona the best thing that walked in the door. He doesn’t realize that those smiles and friendly banter are paid for.

She’s basically a dumb Stacey Dash.

and there are raisins in her potato salad

It was also grad day for the local school so the restaurant had been busy all day and our server looked exhausted. We only knew about the grads because she explained why they were out of the most popular items. We still got great service which made my mom’s tip grate on my nerves even more. lol, you right. It must…

The first time I saw the crappy tip my mother left, I slipped the server $20, unbeknownst to me, my sister did the same thing.

Most servers know that seniors aren’t the best tippers. In the case of my mother it came from poverty, she has money now and once taught she will leave a decent tip but whenever I’m with her I offer to leave the tip.

My mother used to be a bad tipper. $1 per person at the table was her standard. I talked to her and realized that she couldn’t do the math for a good tip so I told her to tip $5 per person. Still not great but much better. 

It used to be that screaming constantly was for little girls chasing each other. Grown women screaming like this at the drop of a hat makes my eye twitch. The desire to throat punch this person is strong.

Thank you. Your solution makes the most sense.

I’m also a non-drinker. At my last group dinner I drank my soda water and watched the guy across from me have 3 martinis and a bottle of wine. I knew he’d be the one suggesting that the bill be split evenly.  I got the server to separate mine from the herd.  My days of subsidizing drunks are over. 

Because there are no such things as babysitters.