A country living friend bought one when his wife needed cancer treatments. It was wintertime and they didn’t want to miss any appointments because of weather conditions. They weren’t stupid assholes. However, I live in a city and the number of these trucks rolling around the suburbs is puzzling.

Did I fall asleep and miss something?  Wasn’t Mexico supposed to pay for the wall?  

Every year for the past 15 years my mother gives me the same thing. Large novelty slippers, dish cloths and candy. I’m a diabetic. One year she gave me $50 in 5 dollar bills. I took them and gave one to every homeless person I saw.

Yep, I’d flat out steal it and deny it to their face. 

I can imagine his first day of work when being introduced around.  “Why is your name and face so familiar?”  By lunchtime everyone in that office is going to know exactly who he is. 

Liars always over-explain. They think it makes the lies more credible.  Just tell me you don’t want to go out.  I don’t need a blow by blow account of your “diarrhea.”

Didn’t Ivanka come back from one of Trump’s first visit with the Saudis with 100 million dollars for some “charity” or “foundation” bullshit?

They spent it on photo-shopped Park Service photos.

Five names under consideration: Pride, Greed, Anger, Glutton, Wrath. Lust and Sloth declined the honour because they’re busy elsewhere.

I almost bought a pair at a yard sale even though they were a size too small.  They were very nice. 

Maybe Lal should have spent less time buying shoes at PALESSI and more time paying attention to her MLM scam.

Karen in HR was told not to bring potato salad so something good came from this. 

They do a respectable job in rice pudding. 

That’s because they already have Hilary plugged into that role. Smart, educated women, Evans have no use for them.

We have a friend who moved to the country. One time he remarked on how his cat made so many friends with mice. The cat was always chasing the mice and playfully tossing them in the air. He thought it was wonderful how they got along.  It was kind of sad explaining the facts of life to him. 

“Pence promised me double ice cream if I came to this and didn’t wet myself.”

He’s functionally illiterate. I work with people like him. They can sign their name and read simple text. Anything beyond a fourth grade level is beyond their abilities. They cover it by stating they’re proud of having never read a book. They sneer at people with a formal education. In Trump’s case, he hates…

“Do you pay my rent?”

My local casino will comp meals and I use that feature when they have a buffet and I want to treat a friend. None of my friends drink so we go in, eat, and leave without spending any money on slots or tables. I like slots but I’m particular about which ones I play. Bright lights bother my eyes so there are only a few…

I play slots almost weekly for entertainment. There is no expectation of a big win, if I lose or break even, I’m fine. I have a budget, I don’t drink alcohol and rarely eat at the casino and I use a loyalty card. For a few months I was getting a $100 voucher for the slots, then it dropped to $75, now it’s dropped to…