It’s the feel good story of the year.

Make it a potluck. Put out a list of what is needed. This prevents everyone with showing up with a bag of chips and a Slurpee to share. Check everyone at the door. If the offering is not substantial; potatoes, veggies, pie etc. then they have to pay $20.

Was your family secretly a restaurant?

I liked to read, had no friends and was very introverted, thus “crazy”.

Every family has it’s freeloaders. 

We all got labels, “the smart one”, “the baby”, “the liar”, “the spoiled brat”. etc. I was “the crazy one”.  

Try club soda. Really quenches the thirst.

Jr would show up, tap Chelsea Clinton on the shoulder and shout, “I’m ignoring you!”

Hate to break it to you guys, but Trump loves you because you have money.  Present yourself to him as a poor gay man and you will be told to GTFO. 

Newsflash: Newlywed couple expecting their first child would like to have some privacy from family members!

The scariest things about RVs is driving behind one on a highway with the  wastewater pipe not properly secured. “Is it raining?” Oh My God! It’s shit!”.  We pulled over as soon as humanly possible while that RV sped down the road spraying shit water. 

They should try North Korea, they’re our allies. 

Maybe a few of these outraged ICC Christians can visit the island to retrieve their buddy’s body. I’m sure that will end well *snicker*

Tear gas today. Live bullets tomorrow. Trump and Fox News’ wet dream is coming true.

My sister gave up her daily can of Coke and grazing on candies. She dropped 50 lbs. She always walked everywhere but the weight never came off until she cut out the sugar.

Pro tip, put the plate on the floor, not on the seat, otherwise it’s going to slide off and eating car floor food is just sad.

Thank Jebus I only sing the soundtrack from Moana.

An “educated” friend fell for the Secret Shopper scam. She thought the text offering her a job came from a friend, even though she has no friends in the UK. She ended up having to pay her bank back almost $1,000. Why would a British bank need a secret shopper in Outer Bumfuck, Canada?

Our elderly mother has been schooled in never giving financial information over the phone or by letter. (She doesn’t have a computer). One sibling has access to her bank account to monitor for strange activity. She has a bank card and under no conditions is to let hungry relatives “borrow” it “just once.”

We called them Hydro coats.  A friend gave me one and it’s the only thing I wear when shoveling snow. Drab, warm and utilitarian. 20 years strong.