I will never understand the balk rule, as long as I may live.

Disappointing that they acquiesced to the part of the Twittersphere that goes around looking to be offended. This was a dumb controversy that even a lot of Tweeters that usually are on top of these issues shook their heads at. A lot of Black Twitter said “Err, wtf?” at the outrage.

Not pictured: the Gap Kids ad from just a few years ago wherein a black model was using a white model as an armrest in almost the exact same pose.

That’s what is scariest about him imo. We have no idea where he really stands on anything. His presidency would just be him waking up and saying, “Hmm, what do I feel like doing today? Pushing for education reform, or creating a national registry for Muslims? LET’S FLIP A COIN, MELANIA!”

i was helping my friend move in to his off-campus house, and we went shopping and he came up to me all cute and embarassed and said “i want to get lady products to keep in the house in case someone needs them, can you help me?” and i was so happy and it was so amazing and all men should be like josh.

I’m disappointed Greg Howard no longer works here because there is no way he would’ve let this blog be posted.

Next week from Giri:

Does everyone who signs up get a slice?

Jimmy Carter looks like a grandfather. Ted Cruz looks like someone who kills grandfathers. There’s a fundamental difference here.

There is zero chance ted cruz becomes president. He's too ugly. In the modern election age, America has never elected someone so ghastly looking. OK OK, Ya, Jimmy Carter, but still.

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

you, um, use a lot of butter, my man.

I actually freeze most of my butter inventory, and only keep a couple of sticks in the fridge. This works for me because 1) cold butter melts within seconds in a hot pan; 2) I don’t really make toast; and 3) room temperature butter fucking rots.

Refrigerate your butter. Room temperature butter goes bad much more quickly, and you will not use it before it does. You will waste money.

Abbott and Costello went through a number of drafts before arriving at their now-classic bit.

I hope this works. If the NFL can reduce kickoff returns by 5-10% then football will be a safe sport.

Curt Schilling being decent and making sense just makes the other 95% of the times we hear from him that much more aggravating.

I’m shocked. So shocked.