You're going to need that grip if the girls only care about the other muscles.

Yo @DwightHoward our financial planners b charging a flat fee, no commission basis like dem LA thieves

My old football coach would say, "Curls? Curls will get you laid, but won't make your arms strong."

How did Scott freaking Miller get that invite? Was Danny Knobler still hungover from the BET Awards afterparties?

Update: Boston PD has located the pistol used to kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand. It was registered to Aaron Hernandez.

The documents do not include information for on-air talent and contract workers

And, according to FOX News, I can now marry this horse.

Shit. You're on to us.

The Chili's in downtown Glendale said that if a buyer does not purchase the franchise by July 15 they will be moving to Key Arena in Seattle.

Meester Hernandez. Oh, he good. He good. Meester Hernandez no bad man.

Either way, the guy's credibility is a serious issue

Aaron Hernandez Forced To Clarify That He Does Not Intend To Literally End The Lives Of Opposing Players During Football Games

Hernandez: "Hey look everyone! TIM TEBOW!"

Hernandez couldn't wait until the NBA Finals tipoff? WE NEED A SPLITSCREEN

Missing overtime? Why is a story about Walmart trying to screw its employees on a sports site?

Gotta get a hitch to tow the jetski!

This is a legitimate concern. It is not addressed in my AP Stylebook.

Manziel: "Don't you know who I am?"

I read it as aTm would have suspended him from *school*, not the football program, though obviously he can't play football if he's not in good academic standing.

Hmmm... "Transfer Johnny" just doesn't have the same ring to it, unless you're talking about a port-a-potty.