Chop this, mutherfucker!

You can piss right off with that noise, young son.

It is a little too late for the Hawks to start getting defensive about Game 2.

Who needs a heat gun when you have hot takes?

This take is bad and you should feel bad.

There’s no evidence any hacking took place. Unauthorized use of an account is not, on its own, hacking. If I get up from my desk and you sit down and type out a tweet on my account, you didn’t hack me.

$4,500 less in student loans today is like $10,000 in beer in 7 years. Warren Buffett taught me that. Rule of sevens, including don’t drink anything below 7% ABV.

Wait till you hear her music.

Good on the MLB, taking the high road and deciding that being entombed in Toledo was punishment enough.

Please read the article, then comment. Please. Always, please. Please.

I wonder what gave them their first clue.

It might be a requirement. Our fearless leader is holding two of them.

they don’t pay for themselves, like, ever. A road is like a puppy.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

911 is always the answer.

The best part of Oklahoma getting blown out is we heard Boomer Sooner fewer times than in any televised Oklahoma sporting event in history

If you’re using high beams in fog, you’re doing it wrong.

He was concussed. No question. Wasn’t intentional. I know hockey. Believe me. I know. I watch the best hockey.

Don’t worry, most of us understood the sarcasm inherent in your statement.