“What has changed is that the world now treats it as Adele doing scales, Streep reading lines and Puck stirring sauces, combined.”

I thought ‘retiring a hack sportswriter to Italy’ was the same as ‘sending Fido to a lovely farm upstate’. Disappointed to discover that I’m wrong.

Burrillville must feel cold and sick after that.

This story needs corn for it to be Iowa. #pedantic

The thought of hugging her never passed through his mind.

Historically Scots are not usually that adept at using the english.

That’s got to be the best goal ever scored in that club’s 45 minute long history.

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

That’s what employees tend to do, yes.

This message is approved by all Skins fans in Charles Town and Harper’s Ferry, WV.

+1 Drunken Family Reunion

Goddamn psych majors.

Meanwhile, 50 Cent still hasn’t died tryin.

Fucking hypocrite getting plenty of support from the big banks, I see.

The defendant then reached over the valet podium where [victim] was standing and grabbed him around his neck with both hands. [Victim] stated that he continued to strangle him for approximately 5 to 6 seconds before [victim] was able to peel the defendant’s fingers from his neck.

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

I think my ex had one of those BMW shifters in her nightstand for some reason...

Luckily, Olsen’s wife will never see this.