I’m going to go out of a limb and say my loaded ‘18 E63 Wagon that cost $30k less than the base price of the XM with twice the cargo space, better exhaust note, and better in every performance metric is a better vehicle in every aspect...and I suspect, if they had made one, a 2018 M5 Estate would be too.

“and I fail to see anything wrong with a vehicle that can do the errands while also being fast and good handling.”

and they will sell every single one (or lease it), god I hate this planet -__-

The front end looks like a pissed off wart hog that just snorted all your coke and wants more.

car people need to wake up and realize that the SUV is the new automotive form factor

Twenty (20!!!) inch steel brake discs?? That’s were all the stolen manhole covers are going.

I’m predicting about 100% lease with the charges as a business expense for the poser fatcat. (Probably his wife/concubine does the actual driving)

Visually loud… as in an eyesore

Jalopnik: SUVs are a pox on civilization. No one needs something this big and this fuel inefficient. They represent an existential danger to pedestrians. To cyclists. To small children. To our planet. Our thirst for more, and bigger, and faster is an irredeemable flaw in our culture.

This thing is ugly and expensive. BMW knows who this monstrosity is for. I expect to see these parked in the driveways of mcmansions. 

“Oh, and the little notches at the top of the hatchback are a throwback nod to the M1 supercar, with BMW roundels etched into the hatch glass.”

That sounds like something BMW told you so you’d have something redeeming to say about the vehicle.

This thing is going to age as well as a Pontiac Aztec. The front looks like someone Xeroxed their butt at an office party.

For the person who just has to have the most expensive BMW you can buy today parked in their driveway to loudly announce their wealth and complete lack of taste to their neighbors.

No. LOL.

There are literally 6 comparisons listed in the article:

This is the epitome of how BMW has gone down the drain. They think more power will fix their God awful styling. This is the most hideous vehicle to ever get a license plate. What a fucking monstrosity of a vehicle. 

Those windows are TINY from inside. We are headed toward peak camera, where everyone just drives in a moving pillbox bunker and uses cameras to see.

I don’t care if it tickles my balls while giving me a blowjob, it’s irredeemably ugly. No matter how good this giant SUV handles, it can’t escape my overwhelming desire to torch every one I see.

It looks like the Grand Theft Auto version of itself.

How much did BMW pay you to write this? And have you ever driven an actually good BMW, like something from the 90's or early 2000's?