Tyler: Mom, I know I disappointed you with this embarrassing scandal.

Call him a “kid” all you want, but the young man has learned the game thanks to a parent who surrounded him with some of the best players in the country. That’s why I’m so excited about Louisiana Tech’s new baseball manager, Drake LaRoche.

Counterpoint: Cardinals fans are a bunch of arrogant, humorless weenies, and it’s fun to make fun of them and their team.

Counterpoint: Fuck bicyclists in their non traffic law obeying, riding 3 wide on a back road on Saturday morning, spandex wearing asses. 100% cunts.

Counterpoint the sequel: If you don’t know how to use a turn signal, why the hell would I assume you know how to use a turning lane?

“Sometimes I turn the signal off and wait until the light has changed to turn it back on. I’m in an ONLY lane. You all know I’m turning, right? No need to be redundant.”

“Beat me too, it.”

He was not available for comment as he was tying an onion to his belt.

Pant O’Mime was going to attend White Sox camp to appear at White Sox camp today, but Kenny Williams barred his son, Sweetchild O’Mime from the facilities. The younger O’Mime, with a tear in his eye, looked to his father and mouthed the words “Where do we go now?”

“Hey, great win out there.”

The love child of Patton Oswalt and Adam Richman?

Despite its catchy hook and obvious nostalgia, Eddie Money’s comeback sequel failed to resonate with his fans.

Stair daggers would encourage more elevator use.

I haven’t seen this much siding with Cousins since the Hatfield/McCoy feud.

edibles huh? i see you like to live on the edge when going to parties. I could never have that potential ticking timebomb in me that could either get me nice and buzzed for hours or get me on the floor staring at the ceiling talking to the cat in another room.

$8500

Rob: Did you see this kid? He can cover 50-60 feet in just a few seconds!

I guess that is to be expected, since Arsenal never LED.

He may be the world’s fastest stoner, but the King of Saudi Arabia is its most efficient.

the last time I heard about an eighth grader getting impaled by a piece of hardwood this bad was Penn St.