Phew. Thank god someone was here to explain the joke to me.

Lighten up, Francis.

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

Fighting curbs dirty plays and ...

Wow! Talk about the pot calling the kettle bl.....oh wait a minute

Obviously those kids put on the foil before that game.

The rest of the world have illicit bars, opium dens, hash clubs.

I don’t know, those felony assaults and murder could really hurt his Heaven chances. We’ll see how the voters feel in 5 years.

Sounds like some lucky guy is teaching Cromartie a lesson on how to properly execute the bump-and-run.

The couple announced the news to Us Weekly

Then he would just need to call the world’s best key finders -
the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s office

Here I sit at the office and I’m screaming ‘DONT DO IT!!!’ at my computer. Thankfully, I have carefully cultivated an image of mildly unstable drinker, so it shouldnt result in another visit to HR.

So his creditors can’t find him.

I’d say the answer depends on whether you are an animal and pee in the shower.

But something like a show of force on the part of the government is *more* likely to encourage copy cats than the government completely ignoring these tools.

Barry’s clearly blaming the offense for the 1 in the Panthers’ 12-1 record, bud.

yeah it’s a bummer but there’s no shame in 12-1

Josh Norman just might be the best corner in football right now, and is certainly the most visible player on a fantastic defense that hasn’t let the Panthers lose a game yet

My wife and I had been separated for, oh Jesus, I’m not sure how long. I had stayed back East while she took a job with some hotshot Japanese company in L.A. We decide we’re gonna give things one last chance before the divorce so I fly out there. Her company’s Christmas party is in progress when I arrive, so I head…

Stockbrokers? Was this 1984?