“I called and told the homeowner that their door was unlocked. They didn’t come back and lock it, so I figured it was my TV now.” -Sanders for President, 2016.

I’m sorry. Bernie’s campaign steals Clinton’s data, gets held out of the DB for a couple days while everybody figures out whether things are secure, throws a hissy fit about it, and Clinton looks bad somehow? I’m no longer convinced there are adults in the Sanders campaign.

You can absolutely show evidence (not proof) of not having something. There are records of things which happen on computers. This will be sorted out, but I think the Sanders campaign is crafting establishing a pretext to run as an independent.

Sanders supporters weren’t going to vote in the general anyway, if they sit out due to debate schedules and being held out of a database for actually stealing other campaigns’ data.

I was born here, and I’m with you. This is a bizarre thing to do.

Apparently this was a spot from their second date.

Wait, wasn’t he still married at that point?

Surprisingly accurate typo: “my fiends and I”

I can’t imagine that that’s actually her favorite place. And there’s no way this guy is smart enough to know what her favorite place is.

I’m not well-acquainted with the law in the U.K., but do you know if this can be appealed there? In the U.S. I don’t think this could ever go to another round because our prohibition against double jeopardy is very strong.

My understanding was that the link between those deaths and Bergdahl has not been conclusively established.

Unless you’re in porn, don’t let the gag reflex enter into it. Not that that’s not fun, but you’re tongue’s got the most range of things it can do anyway. Try a range of things, wait for obvious signs of enjoyment, and then do the thing that you know got a gasp or an involuntary spasm again fairly soon.

I can never top this story. Well done.

Am I the weird one for not being really grossed out by that? Almost all of us are descended from at least one pairing which is closer than that. That’s not even a first cousin, genetically.

I hadn’t seen this. It hits a bit harder having friends from that area.

Some nasal sprays are prescription drugs. So I suppose if that bottle didn’t belong to her, or the cop could claim that he suspected he didn’t, that could be grounds for something? That’s really speculative though.

I’m an evangelist for good drinks, so I’d recommend three parts Bombay Sapphire to one part Noilly Prat, with a bit of the juice from the olives, shaken hard for a while with the ice (honestly you want to water it down a little, and it should be as cold as the proverbial ice water), garnished with two olives, and…

Haha, I drink martinis because my mom had me make them for her long before I could drink. I’ll point out that they depend massively on the quality of both the gin and the dry vermouth, and are better dirty. While taste varies, I always think of this much like people not liking beer: it’s possible you haven’t had a…

My martini joins your rum and Coke.

Bush is clearly Chief Wiggum.