"Those of us". Planning on faking your own death soon? Can I help?

As always, it looks better frozen with a wooden stick in it.

This is like your girlfriend telling you that she's a virgin, except for that one time with that guy from Australia, oh and also the other night with some guy from the West Coast, but they don't count since she didn't "really care" about those times.

It's quarter 'til sentence fragments don't need punctuation.

At spell check o'clock

Mark, now I'm just curious here....but what kind of penises have you seen? Because none I've ever seen look like they have a giant warty growth on the end.

"The LA Times then flesh out this story be recounting the day of the murder, when the couple, who met in AA, went on a bender to cope with being evicted, all after Shannon lost her job and mobile home, while Chip had just gotten out of prison."

GoogleNaps: "Come for the nap, stay for the bed bugs!"

Am I gonna be the first person to point out the ridiculous pun of the title to this story...

If you need another recommendation for the post, I would be happy to write one up. Just let me know!

+1

That's really the kicker for me. If I can uninstall it, I don't really care much—especially if it keeps costs down. But if you block my ability to uninstall it, you've crossed a line—especially if it's one of those apps that wakes up, uses my network, and worst, drains my battery without my consent.

Taco Tuesday Movie Nights?

finally, people will stop asking why i text them about ducks all the time

I thought about this some more.

This has been the funniest thing I've seen on Lifehacker in quite a while

Knowing Ray, he'll probably only get 1-2.

Yes.

The awesome/terrible thing is, I really can't tell if you are kidding or not.