Too keep my head from exploding, I’ve decided to assume everything they say is a lie. I’ll just treat everyday like opposite day.

Hahahahaha, owning a home! Our cheap IKEA plates have served us just fine when we’be crowded a bunch of people into our 1-bedroom apartment that we rent for more than my parents’ mortgage on their 4-bedroom house.

DIAMONDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE COLORLESS! (Not yelling at you, just yelling and quoting Beautiful Girls.)

The 1930's?

(BTW, tomorrow is is the 36th anniversary of John being shot dead.)

Now that is some straight up propaganda

Thank god we dodged that HRC Corruption bullet guys

They were going to suggest a fire sale to help come up with funds, but found out that you can’t actually sell a river.

Socialism for the rich, capitalism for the rest.

If Dan Gilbert keeps fucking the rust belt like this, he might just wind up president of the United States.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, if a recount happens and comes out in Clinton’s favor, yay President Clinton. On the other hand, I’m a little afraid that might actually start a civil war at this point.