Yes, let’s not think about the asylum seekers (an utterly legal and valid way to enter the country, mind you) and the suffering they will surely face - let’s instead think about how this will harm the image of the GOP!

Seen off of Antarctica? You can’t fool me. That is the first scout of the shoggoth invasion! Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!

...and suddenly, the inspiration for so goddamned much of Lovecraft’s fiction becomes clear.

So glad to see we’re not the only weirdos out there. Our families are obviously kindred spirits. Here’s our Halloween 2014:

Hi! I’m a counselor and a father or a 10 y.o. daughter with ADHD and I would recommend Dixit. It’s a HUGE favorite for hers (and my wife, who also has ADHD).

The three examples you gave were redundant as they are all the same person.

Any Catholic Church will suffice.

Yes, this gets confusing. When someone finally up and declares “Applegate” how are we supposed to know if it is about some fashionable Apple scandal or the actress who played Al Bundy’s slutty daughter?

This. This 1000x. I bothers the hell outta me when people add Gate to the end of things.

Can we please stop adding gate to things. Watergate was the name of the hotel, not Nixon having an issue with water lol

What are “Yeti pubes”?

Where will he complain about this?

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...”

Hannity tonight: “In fact, men with smaller-than-average penises have been revered throughout history.”

And it’s angry, too...

Fuck. That first “Presidential Alert” text is totally going to be a dick pic, isn’t it?

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

Thanks Beth, your article serves as journalistic lodestar to the rest of this nation.

I get it though. I was like 30 before I could tell the difference between Clark Kent and Superman. Glasses can make you be anyone.