One of my relatives defends Trump playing because Cheetolini spends time at his OWN courses, which makes it bigly much cheaper. I fuck with you not.

Like his baby hands can hold a golf club properly, anyway.

People lose their shit over coming to Myrtle Beach. You’d think we were in Bali. It’s not a far drive so it’s just a lackluster beach to me.

Well, Myrtle Beach is the Jersey Shore of the south. That said, we have a huge place and who the fuck am I to complain when families and kids are going hungry?

Same to you! Use the coping skills best suited for the occasion if you have to attend.

I feel you. I’m trapped at the beach with my entire family and have the blackout curtains shut. There’s also a hidden bottle of rum beside the bed.

Damn, I didn’t even think about that angle. It was kinda messy how Diddy put out that video calling us the “North Carolina Panthers” and saying he’d play Kaep. Kaep deserves to play, but not as a second string.

I’m a Panthers and Steph fan. I want this to happen so badly no matter how many people say it’s impossible and I’d even start going to games again.

I was a nanny when I was introduced to Yo Gabba Gabba. D.J. Lance! Biz’s Beats! It was one of the only kid shows I could enjoy.

I’ve been thinking about this too much, but let’s bind him to a chair with duct tape over his mouth and bring in conventionally pretty models, Warren Buffet, Obama, and all the world leaders to mock him for hours and hours, days upon days.

The app will tell you if the hot light is on. I know. For reasons.

That’s me talking to Congress right there.

Fake News Hate Shows...bless, he thinks that’s clever.

I need constant reassurance from European and Australian friends that they know it’s him and not “us.”

She’s been outed as having munchausen by proxy, so why would they give any of the children back?

Everyone tells me to let it go because Republicans will never stop being misogynistic hypocrites. I just want to get all up in Paul Ryan’s face and ask him about these 370,000 fetuses. Won’t someone think of the fetuses?!

Republicans are so pro-life, am I right?

God how I hate that no chin weird grimace face. He truly does not smile like a human being.

I’m still waiting on my beautiful job.