What are you asking here? Why aren't retail workers expected to work like medical professionals, EMTs and police officers? Is that what you're asking?

Banners on the horizon bear their sigil...

HOW COME GOD IS SO SEXIST THAT HE MAKES WOMEN WITHOUT BALLS? THIS IS BULLSHIT.

MISANDRY TIME!

It people who like Miracle Whip that you have to watch out for. They're not to be trusted.

This is almost a haiku.

A plague on both their houses

OK, so:

I don't trust people who say that they don't like mayonnaise. It's like saying, "I don't like weekends" or "I don't like fun."

Tom is everything. He's handsome, kind, empathetic, has good posture, and has an important job in healthcare.

That would be OK, except that the guy was crunchy himself.

i worked with someone who felt that way about alcohol. she was mormon. i helped her modify a bunch of recipes with substitute ingredients for wine. which is where i learned that ginger ale teriyaki sauce is fantastic.

I need No-Red guy to go on a date with Allergic-to-Crunchy woman.

So full from all the gratuities in mah belleh.

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

Yummy, delicious, child-flavored omelettes....

I don't care. I'm not going back to loose powder or liquid detergent. If a couple of kids have to die for my laundry-doing convenience then, well, that's how you make omelettes.

There are worse things. I'm just going to leave this here...

I was worse. I ate a bath oil ball from one of the big bins at Peir 1. Sadly, I'm pretty sure my mom had warned me not to beforehad. I can vaguely remember the experience, and knowing it was a terrible idea, but they smelled so good, and looked like candy; I just couldn't hold back. Truthfully, most bath oil balls…