It was literally last night that I was remembering the ‘wash behind your ears saying’ and suddenly realizing I had not done this in over fifteen years. I did not remember to wash behind my ears... I’m a fucking cretin with no right to judge anyone.

Oh my god. Fuck you, Scarlet Johansson. No. Really, fuck you.

I don’t want it. Joss Whedon’s days as a good writer have long since passed and his brand doesn’t hold the same value it used to. I would have much rather seen a new writer attached to this, preferably a female one.

That cat is comin’ in hot, like a fuckin I.E.D. I tells ya!

Im sober reading this and so so jealous of both of you right now.

TBH, the Russian ties are so far reaching it would sink their entire party. Republicans are in lock step on this issues because it wouldn’t just implicate Trump’s cabinet, heads would be rolling far, far down the latter of power. Local politicians and right wing media groups could be indicted for this shit. The…

The American people are “customers”? What the fuck.

Insert obligatory Tyra “we were all rooting for you” gif.

Oh my god no, I’m gonna judge so fucking hard the gavel breaks.

The accuracy of this description....dead

I would have eaten a producer by month two.

Ina Garten lives a life a gives off a vibe where I’d expect her to briefly become caretaker of Baudelaire orphans. She’s the chilly aunt we all want despite her odd opinion on hugs and candid affection.

“Also, hot dogs, hamburgers, and tacos are all sandwiches.”

Really? I hope a bus runs over him puts it in reverse and does it again. If we’re talking fantasy here you have set your sights far too low.

I need for this to fail. Tyra is coming back to ANTM. How fucking dare they.

It’s a smart habit to role your eyes at any headline that includes both Natalie Portman and the word art. It’s always a guilty until proven innocent situation with that woman in terms of pretension.

Humble brags abound... also black brits have varied accents, so try again.

Oh my god, how did I miss this. You’re right, Trump was the One Direction fan the whole time.

The idea that he would do anything for Tiffany is suspicious and unbelievable. We have to assume Ivanka is the One Direction fan here.

Oh my gosh where do you live? Can we be really good friends starting now? I WANT ACID!!!