I’d use him for his copious cocaine stash and then beat it.

Off I go!

Came here to write this. Where are my celeb dick pics tho?!?!

Everything about this party seems awful. What kind of awkward, tepid, offbeat, two stepping nonsense?? I’m so upset.

Gorl, I was screaming at her through my tv. LIVID

Damn, judgemental much? I don’t know if you think you’re helping but condescending bullshit like this is unwelcome and unhelpful. Get help with your ass hat reactions. Get help soon. Seriously.

It doesn’t count if you never leave Epcot

I feel like fear of untimely erections is really what keeps me covered up in public. Btw the user name Bitter Betty has never felt more misleading, bitter Betty has a dick and I wish I chose a different name right now.

Was it the William Penn school district in PA? Because that was literally what happened in my AP American history course..... my AP AMERICAN history course. I also learned about civil war being about states right and definitely not about slavery. Also I learned about the Irish slaves that totally existed and had it…

I’m so tired of people throwing this shit at me as if I should be empowered by it or something. Alisha Keys not needing makeup doesn’t make me feel better about myself. Charlize Theron’s complete comfort in the nude does not make me feel better about myself. Where’s my paper bag with the eye holes damnit!!!

Wait.... are you telling me Bones is still on television? Oh my god

I love Lavern Cox for her smart insightful interviews but less so for her acting. Like, she’s kind of been awful in everything I’ve seen her in but, that said, I’ll always comeback and watch. I sort of wish she’d write a book or start a podcast tbh.

I didn’t know I could love Danny Glover more after I found out that he too was a Rupaul’s Dragrace super fan, but here I am, loving him even more!

15 year olds can’t vote.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so stoned before presenting. Omg I ruined the oscars.”

Omg me too. What’s your Ao3 account? Do you write porn?

I’m actually reading and responding to this mid-fuck so, as you can tell, I’ve already made great strides. Thank you. OHMYGODIMCUMMING!!!

I can’t have an orgasm and make out at the same time. I can’t be the only one with difficulties multitasking during sex. I think I suck at sex.

But why does the inside of that building look like a giant men’s room?

What did Jenna Jameson say?