“I shouldn’t have gotten so stoned before presenting. Omg I ruined the oscars.”

Omg me too. What’s your Ao3 account? Do you write porn?

I’m actually reading and responding to this mid-fuck so, as you can tell, I’ve already made great strides. Thank you. OHMYGODIMCUMMING!!!

I can’t have an orgasm and make out at the same time. I can’t be the only one with difficulties multitasking during sex. I think I suck at sex.

But why does the inside of that building look like a giant men’s room?

What did Jenna Jameson say?

Honestly, she was the worst.

True story: He flipped my friend’s mom off in a parking lot once.

How great would it be if while Ken Paxton was talking about losing and the horrors of planned parenthood he got hit with a water balloon.

Or Ashley or Brittany.

We eclipsed watergate with at least 3 separate scandals in the first week alone. Talking about the illegality of the things this administration does is a purely journalistic endeavor at this point. Where is the rule of law when you need it.

Jane, ever the ignorant slut, keep doing you bb.

Hell no he won’t. The entire reason he took the job was to recoup his losses after Obama era sanctions on Russia put a stop to the most profitable drilling campaign in history. The entire purpose of his being there is to get Exxon clearance to drill in Russia, something the company had active plans to do before new…

...but parkour porn on the other hand...

No, parkour porn

The first one is just loose change.

...dissolves into quiet weeping.

We have to be stop this high road shit. Strong liberal values with no morals is the way to play. Imma hide behind a door in the White House and hit them with a frying pan...repeatedly...until they stop moving. The cartoonish nature of the assasination will make me feel better about the violence.

Exactly, but you can lure him and his cabinet into a screening of a popular children’s film, lock all of the doors and then light the room on fire. It’d be so easy I can’t believe no one is doing this.

British shorthair for being a less cockeyed exotic short hair with more curves.