Vote for Pedro, and all your wildest dreams will come true.

Worst Foodspin article ever. Not one recipe for dog.

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

You hear that? Bears. Now everyone’s in danger

Also, our menses attract bears.

FRANCESA: [pause] How would she get to the NBA, though?

Plus, how the hell are they going to run up and down the sidelines with high heels on?

Pepperidge Farm remembers

Announcer 1: “That Wiggins chap is really something. He’s got a motor on him”
Announcer 2: “I’ll say, Bob. He really is a physical specimen”

“Hey maybe you haven’t been keepin’ up on current events but we JUST GOT OUR ASSES KICKED PAL!”

Sure, Tampa’s GM is a genius, yet when I get caught unloading the Bishop in an NHL arena I’m some kind of a pervert.

Your username makes more sense now.

I don’t have sex with Kate Upton or Justin Verlander. And, yes, it is because I am superstitious.

I have a feeling that my performance would improve by having sex with Kate Upton.

I don’t have this problem, but I want to live vicariously through you by killing myself

No, Sark. It’s Matty Ice who is there every day.

+1 Pounded Stirling

in one email he wrote, “Unless it’s a knighthood fuck off”

Uh you mean the 360,792 other people running the operation.

I took a similar oath: