Reporter: Can you describe how you felt when you were offered the scholarship and then when they rescinded it just two weeks before signing day?

Can we just drain the ocean to find it? Draining the ocean is probably expensive but as long as we have a place to put the water, it can be recycled.

My cousin’s shitty fat husband is exactly the dumb Boston resident this movie was made for. I am sure he has tons of peers.

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

How and why do these people think they get to be the spokespersons for abstinence? YOU’RE LITERALLY WALKING, TALKING PROOF OF THE OPPOSITE OPINION

I would’ve gone to J-School, but sadly lacked the ability to write on Monday what everyone else will think to write on Friday.

The 102-37 rout over No. 20 South Florida...

When a powerful U.S. Senator is delivering copies of Pizzagate conspiracy theory manifestos to the director of the FBI, this equivalence will become valid.

I had my son 4 days after my 22nd birthday, and have been grateful ever since.

I swear you guys rip on me thirteen or fourteen more times, and I’m out of here.

Niners fan here: I’m not even sure I want Shanahan or anyone decent. I want the team to start finding new levels of failure and start hemmoraging so much money that York’s mommy and daddy have to either fire him or sell the team.

Who would’ve ever thought that Mark Davis would turn out to be the Bay Area’s most competent NFL owner?

My only hope (ONLY HOPE) is the rumor that Jed is being removed from all football operations. He’ll still have a title but he won’t do anything but business stuff. His parents may be the owners but everyone is tired of the family legacy getting destroyed in real time.

It’s also HILARIOUS that he constantly evokes the…

TOM2ULA

You know things are bad for San Francisco when JERRY JONES looks better than they do.

Chip Kelly is the Sam Hinkie of the NFL.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

+1 for “cromulent”

Despite what the NFL and Cowboys think, many believe this is McAdoo about nothing.