I love racing but NASCAR isn't my cup of tea. What I'm trying to wrap my head around is this: who the fuck does any motorsports museum cost $137 million dollars?!?! Did they have to pay for Carroll Shelby to sign, like, every square foot of wall space?

$190k and his current contract is 1 year/$1m? He needs to diversify his portfolio, stat.

"Jimmy is way too hands on," said one team source. "He's like Jerry Jones, only without the football knowledge.

Jimmy's down!!!

Dr. Andre Nowzick is in it. That's all I need to know to watch.

Preach on, brother! I am a former IDPA shooter and one of the best things about competing was getting absolutely drilled with all the safety techniques.

0/10, terrible trigger discipline. WNB.

I bet he was even more pissed when Kevin & Jenny stole Baby Cutlet's breast milk.

Washin' the dog, washin' the dog!

Even though he was 35 minutes away, he'd be there in 10.

What is the range on something like this 172?

Sacha-Baron-Cohen-in-The-Dictator-2012-Movie-Image3-600x263.jpg

Problem with water sprays is you run out of water on long stages.

No methanol.

Or a hat. Or a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up.

Brings new meaning to "fluffed the kick", amirite?

Would it help if I told you I have a cross-cut shredder? Seriously, I have no idea if it would help.

Drew, this column was so fine I literally printed it out and then had sex with the paper. Then I put the paper in a shredder and shredded it so that it could never cheat on me, because that's how pure my love is for the column.

Are you kidding? This was an awesome fucking story. I am not even kidding!

I gotta ask, did he hold on for the complete 8 seconds?