Apparently 8mm at a time..

monogamy took the bone, and matrimony took the balls.

Well. Here is was ready to close out 2016 all bitter and cynical like and you had to go post this. THANKS A LOT, OBAMA.

For some reason, this comment bugs me.

Nothing like a Cadillac for highway driving. It just Goebbels up the miles.

I’m Goering to give you a star for that one!

Cracked consistently has better written, more thought provoking content than anything on Gawker Media.

they were probably too chicken to sea that air.

And now you’ve done it two days in a row! Haven’t you done enough already?!?!?!

Also now I am humming Hey Jealousy

I couldn’t for the life of me remember what that blooming nose was called...Gin Blossom!! Thank you

Since this is a Dirtbag, may I present a Dirtbag Extraordinaire

I completely agree and, if I may, I’ve something to add...

We might need to talk about what defines the genre of “science fiction.” I feel like there may be some boundary issues, here.

I’ve found the best way to handle mealtime is to begin muttering “this means something” over and over while sculpting a mound of mash potatoes on your plate.

Meanwhile, Catholic priests are still tantalized by the “Altr” app.

HOT PRIESTS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!