Tell 'em you didn't know that you were a squirter either, but they were just that amazing.

Red Grow The Rashes, Ow

Maybe an early, unhealthy obsession with cellists?

Jim Hightower.

Drinking.

But he fucks them until they combust. That's a real skill, man.

In all fairness, it has a better ring to it than Cray X2™ Vector Processing Blade.

{redacted for inapplicability}

Damn good thing "self-involved" hasn't been banned yet.

If they ban "robust", I go back to being plain, old "chunky".

IMO, the problem with saying "Stop talking about her and let her fade into the bankruptcy and obscurity that befalls so many other one-hit-wonders" is that if this is not discussed on Jezebel et al, who outside will make it known (by that I mean where the casual observer has a chance of perusing)? I have a tangential…

Kentucky Fried Movie?

I did a B&E on a neighbor's house. I watched and waited until the family drove off. I casually walked over to the house, lay on the ground, opened their garage door and rolled under. Once inside, I went directly to the family room, where I knew I'd find what I needed. I grabbed it and just as casually left the way I…

Kill it by eating it!

Would not a death ray approaching one's vagina fix that in fairly short order?

Venus of Calabasas

I'm pretty sure that the dumbass is all-natural.

"I am a huge douche and my death will invariably involve alcohol poisoning".

Marina Abramović and The Maritime Trades Department of the AFL-CIO work together to make sure that Vice President Joe Biden is seen but not heard.

I've heard that they've never really liked Mondays.