*apostrophe's

SMASHING!

So this is Matt Farah's million mile Lexus, right?

We're familiar with the concept in Idaho:

All trucks look the same.

What Koenigsegg are you getting? I'm a huge fan. You'll have to update us when you get it.

Hey did you guys know that Jim Glickenhaus's SCG 003 is a kit car with $224,000 tail lights??

Honestly if you ever have questions about the chemistry of coffee, ask a Starbucks employee. That kind of stuff is covered extensively in their training manual. Pretty impressive considering the quality of coffee they produce.

If it's caffeine you're after, avoid the dark roast coffees. The roasting process destroys a good portion of the caffeine molecules because it is very sensitive to heat. Go with a medium or lighter roast and you won't have to drink as much to get the same effect. Dessert coffees (irish cream, etc) are great for this…

I've only recently convinced my girlfriend that French roast doesn't have as much caffeine as lighter roasts and I've gotten her off of Starbucks grounds and onto Gevalia. Smells and tastes much better, but it's coming out of a Mr. Coffee either way.

I like the subtle suggestion that because I only drink hand-pulled espresso that I'm a pretentious hipster. I used to be a barista, so I guess that has some truth to it. The reality is much more Dos Equis guy. I don't always drink coffee, but when I do, I drink espresso.

Capsule coffee? Disgusting swill. It has to be made on an actual espresso machine, ground and tamped by hand.

1. Live somewhere with a garage.

I'm certainly more well-adjusted than you seem to be. This has lost its entertainment value for me.

I like that you still think after all this time that I'm using my actual picture.

I'm sorry, what? You're flailing so hard, you're embarrassing yourself. I don't need to wave my dick around on the internet in search of some sort of approval from anonymous masses like you seem to be driven to. What kind of sad, pathetic life must you live that you are so hateful of someone because they're talented…

Gramps, you're failing hard. Quit while you're ahead.

Did you not see the video evidence I posted? If not, you're fucking blind. If you don't know how to work it out, click on that big triangle, grandpa.

Is that literally all you have?

Joel's actually insanely talented and he has a tendency to shit on DJs that think they're amazing.