I had to come to Jezebel for some much needed comments section outrage because over at Gawker, my usual, whatever, stomping ground, people are defending this guy out the wazoo and I can't deal with that.

Most likely to grow up to drown in it?

You thought that was deep, didn't you?

I really want to see the prince charming that started this. He better be Andrew Garfield. (That's my definition of guy good-looking.)

I know everyone loves to recognize themselves in every news piece, ever, but clearly she knows what she is doing. This is literally a contract based sugar daddy/HPOA relationship. It has very little with the emotionally controlling relationship you're painting.

I don't know their names/cities/giant jewelry providers but the one one the bed at the 1/3 mark kills it. Yes. More please. That was glorious.

The internet has a tendency to extrapolate their preferred "issue du jour" on cases like these, appropriating them as a reflection of their own plight. If he was black, the topic of conversation would be the system of inequalities that lead to people expressing themselves in this way and the pass he would be getting…

Seriously. That dude is a prick through and through. From his smug face, to his chunky girlfriend chiming in, everything about him deserves a punch in the face.

Ugh. Everyone is just a bundle of outrage waiting for a topic these days. This is my chance to take a stance! Huzzah!

Slight tangent: this whole trend of "hard-hitting" online article that tell you to "Shut up about ____" or "Why ____ is the most important thing you're not paying attention to"?

Yeah, no, totally. Heroes waiting to rise up to a challenge and claim glory by strapping a gun to their belt every time they go out to the bank, mistaking it for an extra 4 inches.

Wow. There really are people like you, uh?

You paid hundreds of dollars to have an image permanently fused to your skin somewhere presumably visible to the casual observer.

How is your choice of getting a tatto as a "personal appreciation of art" any better or more valid than his choice to make a "political statement" or whatever his logic was?

No winky smilies about your made up sex life this time? Bummers. ;)

A haircut doesn't make her a lesbian.

Thank God. I realize that America is a very divided country on many, if not all, topics. None more so than this chunky man and his smug chunky face... but can we all please get on board about one thing: NOT MAKING GEORGE ZIMMERMAN A CELEBRITY?

It means that she's one of the many pretty girls out there who thinks she's not going to get into trouble and that people will always give her free things. Stay at a coffeeshop long enough (especially in NYC) and you'll find a couple coming up to the counter, waiting for a male server, and literally asking "So what…

Editor's note:

As expected, they're great — Lena looks fantastic.

"Make sure to say that often, okay? We need to distract people from the grossness by passing this off as a celebration of Lena.... What?.... No, they'll buy it because we're Jezegoddamnbel."