I looked at my RSS feeds for The Onion and Kotaku back to back, and for a good 10 seconds or so of reading this story, I thought it was The Onion.

They'll never make it without the Dixie Flatline!

Why do you think Q-Games is only getting 20 cents on the dollar? Who is getting the rest? Steam certainly doesn't. They obviously get a cut, but I've heard something in the range of 30%. 80% would be absolutely absurd.

Yeah, uhhhh, that is super duper not how it would go.

Yeah, I figured (as a Canadian) it would give me somewhere in the US north east, but instead it gave me like, all across the US, except the New England was pretty blue as was the right part of the South, except for Florida which was really hot. Maybe that just means that aside from not having an obvious Southern…

OK, but like, regular publishers barely include any gorey explosions anymore. Enemies don't even gib (explode into chunks) in Call of Duty/Battlefield, explosions just kill them. Or Halo (to the best of my knowledge, haven't played all of them). We're past the days of Quake and Unreal Tournament, to a large extent.

Candy Crush Saga is Bejeweled, for people so casually into games they don't even know they should be playing Bejeweled (or Puzzle Quest or something) instead.

Oh yes, obviously everyone knows that. How could a person not know that? It's like, there are things everyone knows, and obviously "Dr. Graevling is a WoW porn artist and has a character named Monara" is one of them.

I'm guessing they won't be in any noticeable way.

I think Gabe is beginning to turn into a wizard.

I don't even remember that PS4 demo reel. Maybe it got posted somewhere, and I just never watched it because I watched most of the reveal livestream and that demo reel is redundant.

Or maybe more accurately, it reads like a VERY middling review. The game isn't so broken that it deserves 1 or 2 stars, but the review reads something like 2.5 or 3 stars, out of a possible 5 stars. Like, "Hey guys, it's alright, as long as you've got nothing better to do with your time".

That whole review read as a NO to me, seeing as there's barely anything new and you don't like the skillshots of some of the new masters. But then, I got bored of the first Peggle after a couple hours, and don't feel the need at all to play another Peggle game.

You're trying to tell me that Vulcan Raven isn't just the Heavy from TF2?

You get them through SpotPass updates. Which basically means "patch/update" that happens every few months, where a little bird in Puzzle Swap gives you one free piece from a new puzzle. It's then up to you to collect the rest of the pieces from other people.

OK, that's actually pretty good.

That kid is probably as old as all the idiots who consider themselves "Anonymous", and adopted the Guy Fawkes mask because they saw V for Vendetta once. So like, 15-19, with the maturity of a 13-year-old.

Even in context, that's not a very good joke.

I refuse to acknowledge that those texture swaps (and minor ability tweak) deserve two different names.

Naw man, you just don't understand. I mean, sure, the Chozo raised Samus for like the majority of her childhood and teen years, but obviously Adam is the most significant parent figure in her life, so clearly it's fine that Other M doesn't ever mention the Chozo.