My wedding cost like 400 bucks and most of that was for beer and crawfish. We're gonna be together forever.

My husband likes to smugly say "it's nice when you KNOW you're never getting divorced", and I'm like "honey, if everyone didn't KNOW that, no one would ever get married".

From my understanding, it's like the opposite of meatless monday.

Ah, sweet divorce.

I don't mean to sound like Buffalo Bill but every time I see her I just covet her skin, her glowing, flawless skin....

I reeeeeeeeaally want to be her friend. Like, real bad.

I think I am going to eat eggplant parm tomorrow, you know, for solidarity.

Switching from public comments to direct messages?

how did you become an approved commenter on jeze.... nevermind I love this

Was his name Pepe? His name was Pepe wasn't it.

Excellent example of how NY'ers aren't huge assholes. We may not smile randomly and say hi on the street, but we do tend to help each other out in the oddest of ways (or when shit actually hits the fan).

That's pretty amazing, but I would HATE living there. I don't want to hear my neighbors' business.

Pure coincidence, they were probably all watching Seinfeld, and the part when George finds the golf ball in the Whale's blowhole came on.

Thank you for this as I had no idea. I seriously thought this and wondered who wouldn't vote for it.

I thought it was a pro-vegetarian marketing effort, like a more focused Meatless Monday.

That sounds sinister as hell. I'd be afraid of that woman!

Jesus Christ. That woman needs to be stopped. Jesus Christ. Seriously, I'm fucking stunned.

I can handle the sister, but the 3 dead dogs are unconscionable.

It says something about my general misanthropy that I'm most upset about the 3 dogs.