I'm goint to start teaching a class- 'How To Steal A Shopping Cart From A Safeway And Use it As A Crutch Until You Can Hobble To The ER With Your Shattered Ankle, All While Being A HotSexyTrannyMessDiva'. It's $600 for the first hour, and $12.99 per minute after that. Sign up now!

Until men can cook their own damn meals and keep house decently, more women should stay single & avoid coupling up. Women are wising up to the fact that "relationship" = playing mommy to an overgrown toddler. So yeah, fuck that.

@kelsium: Anger Managment! Oh God, the rage! The seething rage! I love it when they get to fully pull out the stops and hate on someone. Like this post here. I'm getting angry and cracking up at the same time. Megan is on fucking FIRE.

@kelsium: You can't bring Sexy back if sexy never left, yo.

Dude, if Wino pointed a lolly at me, I'd shit mah pants. That "harmless" piece of candy probably has enough god-knows-what on it to wipe out an entire continent. Biological warfare, that is!

Cat sez: "I'm Chuck Bass."

I don't know why these S. Korean dudes are mail-ordering brides, when they really should be selling *themselves* to the hoardes of older Japanese women who are hopped up on S. Korean dramas.

@DinaRonson: I though Bebe was for 17-year-olds dating someone too old for them? Cuz lord knows my 25-year-old hips and butt are not about to fit into any of that clingy, bias-cut bullshit they got up in Bebe.

Invisible Dirt Bike.

@BowlingForDollars: Yeah. No shit.

@Dogtanian: HA! I really shouldn't have posted that at all, as it's not my story to tell. But enough people already know he was out trolling for tail when his wife was preg, so it may not be any big deal. Who knows, maybe he & his wife have an "arrangement", I don't know.

@Notes from the underwhelmed: You can still get Puddin' Pops, dude! I bought some at a Kroger recently. Yummmm.

I do not get these Jack White crushes. He looks like a boated Tim Burton claymation figurine in person (all gray skin and purple eye-bags) and reeks of BO from 20 feet away. Uh, and he's a philanderer who cheated on his pregnant wife. Real winner, that one. Crush away, though!

@hortense: Screw the preemptive strikes, man. Just ban the next fool who asks "who?" in an SJ when the Google is just a few clicks away. You can be all silent but deadly about it. Cuz you're a ninja.

Yes, but how does childbirth affect the dentata? Inquiring minds want to know!

@funnyface: Whatever. I've got no sympathy for hippies and their tye-dye clothes and patchouli stank. Once that kid gets to primary school and the merciless teasing sets in, he'll probably "let" mommy cut his mop.

@hamburgerhotdog: That was blog ipacec, mah fren. She even plugs her jewelry line? RETCH. And yes, good call on the stanky bitchface.

I just can't accept that Harriet the Spy is all growed-up and trying to rock this "sophisticated woman" thing. It's making me feel old.

There is a point when not cutting your fucking son's hair becomes child abuse. Kate passed that point ages ago. Karma's a bitch, and that there fashion accessory- I mean child- is probably going to grow up to hate her.

I can't wait to see little Walker and Texas Ranger! I wonder who got the 1st photo rights, People again?