@hortense: Damn, Hortense. This is intense. I wholeheartedly agree with your viewpoint here. Palin needs to Put. The carpetbag. DOWN. I'm voting with my brain, not my vagina.

I will slowly, quietly die inside and then spend the rest of my life singing "Didn't We almost Have it All" to myself while rocking back and forth in the corner of my padded cell.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I so want a pirate version!!!! And the vampire version- I'm from New Orleans, OK, so don't effing judge. Anyway, something's gotta make up for how badly True Blood sucks.. No pun intended.

The long, hot summer is finally over, Hortense is the weekend editor of Jezebel, the Pretty Pretty Girl looks fantastamazing.. What more can we all want out of life? Candy? Yes. And champagne. But that's about it.

@hortense: Sup, kiddo? You know I'd never miss your first daay! Congrats!!

I'm only down with this if it comes in a choose-your-own-adventure format that eventually leads to: a.) a dragon battle, b.) someone saying "I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids", or c.) death by getting chopped up by a speedboat.

@braak: Those are probably the people who's parents are Republican, and would get their asses kicked at home if they breathed the word "liberal" to Mommy or Daddy. But, uh, I'm in the South, so take that with a huge grain.

@PilgrimSoul: "We" didn't reward shit. The editors, or in this case Megan, chose her. This isn't a democracy, obviously. Inflammatory though she may be, SinRoo is extremely well-versed in this topic and is the likeliest choice for a fill-in as could be found on this board. If you have a better candidate, email Megan…

@ceejeemcbeegee: Brilliance. You should have your own advice column. I mean that.

@SouthernSatine: Did somebody say Dollywood reunion?

@BiBiVirtue: Well, my fiance' had only frightful, terrible memories of his homeland. He's also particularly attatched to his second name, so that's just my experience. I think his parents were counselled to change his name, so perhaps the US has a very different view of this issue.

@BiBiVirtue: Yeah, you kind of have to change a kid's name when you adopt them. Per my fiance', it's hard enough being the only adopted Asian kid with a white family in your school, but having a name like Bae Shin Joon in US America just makes the whole thing that much harder. Besides, having the same last name as…

@the memorexe: If that's the case, Freya Moon, shouldn't we all be getting our rags now? No wonder that shit's unlucky, damn!

@hortense: But you gotsta admit- that was some choice snark. Bravo, little Otter. Jest is jest is jest and... That was in jest, right?

@ineffable.me: Yeah. Smoke signals didn't work so well, but the carrier pigeon did the job nicely. I tied a scroll to his leg that said, "Kind sir STOP What you are doing is quite unpleasant for me STOP This telegram will self-destruct in 30 seconds STOP."

I like to keep a pen and a hard surface handy, so I can tap out a distress signal in Morse code.

@tell Dolly Parton again: Well, "I lover her/shoes/bag/hair/dress" comments are inane, boring, and don't count as "playing Snap Judge", as far as I know.

@BAngieB: @SouthernSatine: You rang? But srsly guize, I can't abide posts about dead pandas. I'm'a pour some drank out for Mao Mao tonight.

It looks like she's giving her liver the reach-around. "It's healing, I can feel it!"

This is not a CEFAD. I don't know what this is, but whatever it is us unreadable. And Laura's color commentary is douchey and distracting. And kids? Get off my lawn.