Chardonnay is nasty and generally passe', so I doubt Bridget Jones has anything to do with it.

@SinisterRouge: Like Jessica Alba? Yeah. Haaaaate.

@hortense: You are amazing.

You know, this is a very interesting subject that we should probably explore in earnest. Anybody want to accompany me on a Jezebel fild trip over to Kotaku, so we can get some real answers on this vile, insufferable nerd phenomenon?

@blackbirdfly: Jinx, beeyotch! That was perfect!

@ayreupthere: Yes there is. Patrick Dempsey in 'Cant Buy Me Love', for one.

If teeny Reese is the "typical American woman" then what's this "obesity epidemic" thing I keep hearing about?

@EdnasEdibles: Oh holy crap! Spot on!

Don't laugh, Ash. His hipster-goth-douche, John Mayer-piggybacking antics are not fucking funny. And neither is the fact you're dumb enough to marry his busted ass.

@gherkinfiend: Yeah, that's true. I shouldn't generalize. I lot of great people started out in department stores and whatnot. But they do make my life hard!

@Tatiana_Anymodel: Yeah, this is an issue for both parties, really. Big bone 'o contention. I mean, there's only so many times you can have someone balk at your jar of cold cream (all your kit fee could afford) before you just decide it's their problem and stop bringing it.

@gherkinfiend: For real, dude. I'm pretty sure the "makeup artists" referenced in this post were just cheap labor begged off the MAC counter. That's how photographers would lowball me- I'd give them my day rate, and then they'd say that they'd just go get some girls from the mall... And so I'd have to cut my rate in…

@saintbernadette: That wasn't a makeup artist. That was a saleslady at a department store. "Conter girls" for cosmetics companies do not always = makeup artist. Hardly ever, in fact.

Oh, but the hell if we're going to provide you with makeup remover. Kit rental fees coupled with typically dismal pay does not go far enough for us to provide you with face cream for your dry skin OR makeup remover for you. Sorry. Not part of the job description. We already have to give out all of our personal gum and…

Dude, I know a lot of makeup artists, and NONE of them do shit like this. We pop breathmints like crazy, and clean our brushes as if under gunpoint. Please just hire me as your Personal, and kiss your worries goodbye (if only you could, I know!).

@ShanaElmsford: I know, I know. But, seeing as how I actually got to HAVE a happy childhood, unmarred by noseless dolls telling me my shorts are too long and I'm the only 7-year-old without acrylic platform heels- I like to believe every bad thing can end in cookies. Kids growing up in Generation Bratz, however, will…

@BiscuitDoughJones: Oh, but about her outfit- that swimsuit color brings out that complexion ruddiness that comes with being towheaded. Not a good choice.

Her cheap, condescending, self-congratulatory portrayal of Southerners in 'Gummo' has her firmly plastered on my HATECHOO FOREVER list. Seriously. As far as racist caricatures go, that one's up there with Mickey Rooney's Mr. Yunoshi.

You sometimes get form letters from a guy as a way of courting you... just like in real life?

I dunno Moe, if you were instumental in bringing the Bratz empire down, you'd be forever loved by millions and millions of parents trying to save their kids from a childhood of collecting skanky-looking toys. Think of the adoration! The fan letters! The care packages of home-bakes cookies!