Gutfeld is Mr. Potato Head if you replace the potato with a turd.

Melania does not improve with age. Despite being in the public eye for 20+ years, she still has the animation and warmth of a block of wood. She has done nothing to dissuade me from the idea that she is either a robot, a zombie, or a blow- up doll.

Facts like that are why I don’t believe in miracles.

Ha! Shows what Kale-le-layleeeee (however the fuck it’s spelled) knows. There’s only ONE dog on Paw Patrol that is a cop.

Honestly, I cannot fathom why Wallace didn’t do this interview with a damn plexiglass partition between him and the Lick Spittle in Chief. 

Of course none of this is sticking to Biden because after 40 years in public service, everyone knows who and what he is, whether or not you like it. And for most of the country, it seems, his unthreatening blandness is very attractive after four years of Trump.

See also: Symbol of hate.

“Don’t wear a mask, Mr. Trump! It blocks the precious KFC from getting in!”

a big, expensive, yellow sign on Fifth Avenue, denigrating this luxury Avenue

Hey Kanye, you remember that whole ‘Bush doesn’t care about Black people’ business back in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina’?  Why did you suddenly buddy up with Trump, who was, even in 2016, worse?  When Jared is more aware than Trump... wow.

You’re not alone.

The only thing better than that will be watching him wither to a husk as he realizes that he not only lost...

Ah... you’re right. When will we stop holding him to such impossibly high standards? UNFAIR!

In Canada, “Pointing a firearm” (at a person) is a criminal offence. Whether it’s loaded or unloaded doesn’t matter. Not only is white buddy pointing his rifle at people, white lady actually has her finger on the trigger in that photo.

The Republican Party have always been running a long con on servicemen. It’s all lip service. The jingoism covers a lot of the ways they harm veterans and active service persons. 

Man just when I forget Matt Gaetz exists every week, he opens his big stupid trout mouth and then:

Why would Jim Jordan want to wrestle Ron Pearlman anyway? Pearlman hasn't been a 17 year old boy for a long time...

There’s nothing actually wrong with what he said, just with the way what he said was quoted. I don’t think we should have much faith that his VP is going to get a fairer edit than he got here, which is pretty worrying.  It’s going to be a long 5 months with both progressive and conservative twitter snipping every…

I read that out loud and stumbled over every word.