Since you didn’t do so with your guest writers, I’ll nominate what I consider the single most important Jezebel piece of the year.

I don’t know if Ryan Seacrest has really done anything horrible to warrant my hatred towards him but part of me is sure he has.

PREGNANT

BEAUTY THREAD:

She’d make millions if she started selling The Bible: As Annotated by Reagan.

“These rules are up for debate and a vote when Congress resumes on January 3.”

D.C. isn’t the problem (and honestly, most of the jackoffs don’t actually live here). Please don’t nuke us. More DC residents voted for Clinton than the entire number of people who voted in Wyoming.

Kellyanne Conway is a terrible person, but I did think that was a funny line. Especially with all of the womanizers in the Trump administration.

“Do we really need to see the mannerisms of our new leader through the lens of comedy on TV?”

For what it’s worth, I have never seen it that way. I think it makes a grotesque out of Trump, rightly so. It’s pretty rough and anything but soft or flattering. There’s a reason he hates it so much, after all, no?

How does leaving the tree outside for 24 hours help? Hasn’t the tree been out in the cold all along?

I can’t decide if you are very young or just very weird.

“He thinks he’s really good at football just because he’s really good at football so fuck him”.

Not a Cam Newton fan by any stretch of the imagination, but sweet pogo hopping Christ. Fuck the NFL.

I hate to be “that person” but as a Biologist I think this normally rare event could become more common with monoculture tree plantings. Monoculture stands such as pine, Christmas trees, often for profit but sometimes touted as “eco-friendly” have almost no diversity and therefore no variety of roots to stabilize or…

I guess now, she’s just Istice...

I was trying to be clever with the singlehandedly.

In addition to Armageddon’s reply, she also 127 hours’d herself

I loved Felix’s 10 seconds of existential crisis before Maeve had to assure him he wasn’t a host.