I've already texted him to make a big pot of soup. In an hour I will followup with charging advice. Another hour will be "do you have an electric blanket? turn it on NOW"... I think it works really well, particularly considering he's at work, yk, just hangin' around learning how to work on nuclear reactors and stuff.

Yeah, I'm gonna keep right on peeing whenever I have to pee, thank you very much.

Zac Posen was her childhood babysitter and personally designs everything she wears to these things. I can only assume he's getting back at her for being a shitty little kid.

Alison Harvard was robbed I tell you robbed. She was the best model that season.

I'm sure this murder was carried out for the cause of Ethics in Gaming Journalism, in which case it really isn't murder.

That expression is applicable 90% of the time. But if you're living in a zebra park, sometimes you suspect zebras.

I lived in Florida once and my dog got them bad. Apparently FL is the flea capitol of the US. After several weeks of bathing in flea and tick shampoo and giving my dog flea meds every week I just snapped. The following is a step by step analysis on how I conquered the fleas-

"I have always held a suspicion that Ellen Degeneres is actually kind of evil." You know you might have something here Mark. There is a resemblance.

Frankly, if I could afford $50 per WEEK, I wouldn't have issues with saving money.

according to this instagram, any time the police are called the police show up and just go '...guys...' and everyone calms down and apologizes and then leaves.

She wants a man like Putin

this is why i only ever hook up with the girls from tinder because one time i hooked up w/ this guy

Perhaps white person giver? Since, you know, we were the ones who kept promising native americans things and then taking them back when it suited our whims. Also, it doesn't matter if you meant the phrase to be racist or not, it's a racist phrase. Just like you can't use a racial slur whether you mean it to be racist…

It's funny because it's hard to imagine the men described in the study until one shows up in the comment, just, makin' a scene.

The earlier reports of shots that prompted tear gas seemed to have been fireworks... this shit is unreal.

This was my favorite.

Im sorry. This just makes me hate you. I'm a bitter person.

I like where your head's at. Although maybe not for Tony. The facial hair invalidates her performance.