Oh heck yeah. 3,000 years I think I read once, and they only live one or two, so that’s a lot of generations. They are smelly, washing the wheel often seems to do the trick for me.

You’re doing mouse ownership wrong then! I just gave my baby some twine hanging from his cage lid and watched him learn how to climb it. He’s not a fan of me, but I take little videos of his antics all the time, and the mouse-safe snacks I give him sometimes make me laugh when he uses his little hands to hold them.…

Ugh I hate when I go to someone’s house and they have a variety of alcohols and no soft drinks whatsoever. I need caffeine if I’m going to stay up on New year’s Eve, people! I also get drunk way too fast from my medications interacting, half a cider and I’ve got vertigo. Everyone should have cans of pop out at…

This seems like the perfect time for one of those “me” memes the kids are doing.

Counterpoint: if you need dozens, hard candy apples are actually way easier to make and last several days longer than caramel apples because the caramel melts off from humidity.

Nope. Nope. I’ve lived all across Canada we do not do that, nobody has done that to me. Possibly ever. Maybe on a second date or something.

Sure, but flying on standby generally means you wait until there’s a space for you, not you just take someone else’s spot. Bad planning on the airline’s part for sure.

No but I’m also not the person trying to rush through security 5 second before my flight is due to leave. I’m there on time, as I am to all things barring natural disaster, and if I was somehow the late person I would accept my punishment of being offered a seat on the next flight.

Is it really that hard to look at the situation and realize that the latest people are the ones that don’t get to board? Your seat is taken already? Well I guess you can’t sit there! So easy!

Province buddies!

Retail employee answer: It is not my problem if your card was stolen or not. I have zero incentive to ensure it is actually your card. No incentive whatsoever. If it’s stolen, anyone with half a brain knows you’ll get the money back after some hassle with the company, and worst case if it is stolen what is a minimum…

“Brother’s/Sister’s kid/child/little rascal *name*”

Questionable Pasta Though. Spittake happened at this hilarious typo, thank you.

Practice with normal slushies every day until you can down a large in <20 mins, then you’ll know you’re ready.

One of my cats screams like I’m killing her every time I brush her, even with the special overpriced brushes. The other two try to eat the brush. Then they get angry at the brush for stabbing them in the mouth.

My husband once had to sign a non-compete contract for a minimum-wage part time job. He was not legally allowed to take on another job without written permission from his supervisor. There was no reason for this, they were just assholes. At one point they decided he would be alternating mornings, evenings, and…

In my experience, you become a house wife without children by being completely upfront about your intention to not work unless strictly necessary, and you find (there is no polite way to say this) a loser who is incapable of maintaining even the most basic standard of life for himself. You provide consistent meals and…

Yup. But that probably won’t happen.

I’ve gone to a highschool in the area before. The only room with air conditioning was the computer room. It gets so hot in that area that on some days they put out warnings not to leave your house. Every day, all day in september and june, we poured sweat constantly.

When I got mine taken out last year, I went full knock out, no silly-making drugs because they react badly with my brain. I remember waking up unsure if anything had happened, and asked half sobbing, “is it over?” Then I was reassured that it wad in fact over. I had a copious bleeding problem within an hour after…