Thing is, he’s waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but he knows he’ll blow our minds.

Remember when something similar happened to Tom Petty? They said he was dead, everyone was in mourning, then they said, “No, wait, he’s still alive!” and everyone was hopeful of his recovery, then a little while later they said, “Okay, he’s actually dead now for real.”

For fuck’s sake, I can’t put Donald Trump in prison!!! Just let people fucking enjoy this, Karen!

It’s so sad we consider it a punishment for this rich man to retire to his personal golf course as a punishment. Any punishment for Trump that doesn’t include prison and losing all his money is a win for him.

I understand that this country is on the precipice of (yet another) disaster while this moron impotently rage Tweets in Florida, but there’s something so unbelievably satisfying about this moron being reduced to rage Tweeting in Florida, a preview of his entire existence 25 long, long days from now.

It is funnier for Homer to be referring to what he just saw happen with nostalgia, possibly in an attempt to bond with his new boss. He does something like this later with the whole “Yes, sir. Very casual, sir. I will notice that.” To pretend like the time Hank Scorpio threw his shoes was a fond memory is hilarious.

I imagine in, say, 20 years, so many time-specific references (e.g. the image of a woman with a towel wrapped around her head rushing to pick up a call on a landline telephone) will be so far out of the repertoire of the average human being that the internet will be abuzz with people poking and turning over every…

Sorry, you are incorrect. He is obviously saying he has mastered the art of sleep to such an extent that people believe he is indeed, raping and pillaging said sleep due to his utmost skill at said activity.

I had to look it up.  Apparently the controversy is over whether Homer was chuckling at Hank Scorpio saying goodbye to his shoe or chuckling at the previous time he saw it.

Probably not a coincidence this came out the same day as the revelation about Kushner’s illegal shell company. Trump consistently finds ways to divert news cycles by releasing inane bullshit to distract the media and they fall for it damn near every time even after four fucking years.

Smithers, have Lars Ulrich killed.  

Never forget!

London-set Remake of Back to the Future where a young “radical centrist” YouTuber has to make sure his parents kiss at the Blitz Club. He fails because he keeps fainting in shock.

Just before Hillary lost I said, “If Hillary wins there will be a lot of happy Hillary supporters and a lot of angry Trump supporters. If Trump wins there will be a lot of unhappy Hillary supporters and a lot of angry Trump supporters.”

Take your star.  This is <chef’s kiss>.  I don’t even care if you didn’t create it.  You could use this as a template for every blatant line of absolute bullshit that man and his cultists have barfed out for years.

Steamed fraud?

This is an appropriately Spinal Tap-esque close to a pathetic administration. “The sign was supposed to read ‘Trump Legal Team Press Conference AND Puppet Show!’” I wonder if Giuliani got lost in the building trying desperately to find the parking lot?

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” - George W. Bush

Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Dip. Don’t let it dominate your life.