OH SHIT THE TRAIN IS COMING RIGHT AT ME

I believe you mean: William “Jacked, son” Harper.

KLF uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh (beep boop-boop beep)

Modern Christians are among the least Christ-like people to ever exist.

Personally, I’m more looking forward to a live action treatment of Isao Takahata’s Pom Poko ...

I have moved left as I’ve aged, largely because I realized that I had a choice.

Secondary point of clarification: Does “they encounter magical creatures like Antonio Banderas” mean that 1. the magical creature is voiced by Antonio Banderas, 2. the magical creature is a separate entity that is not dissimilar to Antonio Banderas in terms of magical charm and good looks, or 3. Antonio Banderas is…

Heard him refer to Hanks as “The star of Mazes and Monsters”

It’s almost like an omnipotent super being who demands his creations love him is also a dick.  

I’m still not convinced that this isn’t just a way to test the waters for Freaked 2, the movie we’ve all truly been waiting for. 

Maybe if someone plays the sound of other living Reef Breaks it’ll attract life back to this Reef Break.

It’s a book about frustration. I honestly can’t even believe that they’re attempting this. But, then again, Hollywood was able to turn his short story about a man who wakes up to find a naked guy physically eating his yard into a series of films about an autistic landscaper who becomes the internet. So, basically…

Not only does it exist, it contains missing footage from Greed, The Magnificent Ambersons, and two Hartnell-era Doctor Who serials.

Followed by “Butt Cancer Slammed by Gay Doctor Oncolo-Raptor”

I was kind of excited for this movie.

Now I’m hearing it came out already?

And bombed?

I got rid of Facebook when I realized I was only use it to communicate with people I didn’t want to talk to.

Is that you, Dennis Miller?

Or they’ll be attacking a young Stephen Dorf who accidentally opened a gate to hell in his backyard.

The only important SNL recurring characters aside from Update corespondents is Chad.