Old, retired teachers everywhere are going, “We told you not sitting quietly in your seats would get you in trouble!”

I always thought I loved women, until Ms. Greer correctly psychoanalyzed me, and ALL men, and convinced me that what I actually feel is hate. Whatta relief being able to drop that sham.

I’ve always thought that Martha Stewart was the pinnacle of white culture. Her and Barry Manilow.

I’ll be in my bunk.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball....

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at THREE hos.

Wankergate.

And you forgot guns. Guns come before country. Can’t have a true republic, the way God intended it, without guns. Guns MADE this country.

“Don’t come home a-drinkin with lovin on yer mind” - Loretta Lynn

When they turn the pages of history
When these days have passed long ago
Will they read of us with sadness
For the seeds that we let grow?
We turned our gaze
From the castles in the distance
Eyes cast down
On the path of least resistance

Choco party good good! Shiatsai!

pick up my guitar and play. just like yesterday. and i get on my knees and pray we won’t get fooled again. meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Ugliest friggin’ twerk I’ve ever seen. Penalty, 15 yards, offense. 2nd down.

The Unvincible Iron Chicken.

I worked for Shell Oil in Houston during the ‘90s and they turned a layoff into an event... called it “The Transformation Journey” like it was Toyotathon or some shit. Had these CDs everywhere labelled The Transformation Journey, with this long propaganda mpeg explaining how and why they were laying ppl off. “To…

That’s almost exactly what Seinfeld said about Scientology. He said, “I tried it, they can teach you alotta good things like how to speak in public and command attention, but it just wasn’t for me.”

You see how hate begets hate? We can’t let Darth Trump turn us to the Dark Side. Is Vanderpump scripted or “reality”? If it’s reality, that’s assault. And she’s forgetting her skanky boyfriend had something to do with it, too.

We got a Raspberry Pi here at work, and some of the old stuff is still fun to play...so it ain’t ALL old games aren’t any fun anymore. But I actually still have this on CD and loaded it to a working DOS machine 2 years ago. It was BORING as all hell.

Bellboy? Damn, Billy Idol fell on some hard times, then...

I was hoping somebody had seen this or heard of it. I’m pretty sure this was when Letterman was still on NBC, and Johnny was still on. I checked YouTube but no luck. Just to be clear, Earl was trying to get revenge on the ump by costing him money, making him buy a new pair of pants.