God really does have a “Hold Mine Beer And Watcheth This!” side, doesn’t He?

Several years ago for my birthday, my friend asked me what kind of cupcakes I wanted. I told her I love vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting.

Donald Trump in the debates would be the best thing to ever happen. I generally avoid watching the primary debates but you can bet I would pop ALL of the popcorn for that.

I feel like cookie dough is objectively more delicious than cookies. I don’t even feel like this statement is an opinion. Like, cookies are weird and dumb and frequently gross, crumbly pieces of shit (and even at best, they’re just tolerable), while cookie dough is an extension of the joy of the universe.

“EAT YOUR SHAME CREATIONS IN SOLITUDE LIKE THE REST OF US, FREAK!”*

Some of these customers really need to learn when to keep stuff private. Like raw cake batter...whip up a cake mix and eat it at home. Hell, a lot of the brownie batter doesn’t make into the pan when I bake. Want to suck straight caramel sauce out of the jar or bag? Do so at home, treat yo self. You can even find…

Paula Deen’s entire career is based on this simple yet accurate principle.

I’d be interested in a class on cocking a shotgun with one hand.

Or this is just some cover for a weird science thing where all the boys get together to make Kelly LeBrock.

Oh, I see. So we’re against anti-vaxxers but we’re all for little Cash infecting a robotics class with a vicious case of cooties? Hypocrites.

We certainly wouldn’t want to encourage women to learn about robots and how they work now would we. No way that would ever be something that would benefit society.

Way to go, library. After all, you wouldn’t want to encourage kids to learn something and love the library, would ya?

I do ipsy and Petite Vour and was exceptionally happy with both of them this month. These reviews are fast becoming my favorite columns, but I might end up with may too many beauty subs before too long. (Is there such a thing, really?)

I’m a huge fan of both you and millihelen. Converted me from lurker.

9 lbs? OMG. That is a BIG baby.

I feel swindled by the Pregnant Goddess image I was sold by a few smug moms.

I LOVE Anais Anais. I’ve only recently bought a bottle, and it’s amaaaaaaazing

Eh, I got the orange nail polish the author got & it’s not a good color for me. My 8 year old some liked it, though, so he can use it for his toenails. I wish I got the basecoat.