They don't scare me; they can't even spell.

Is the breakman like a seat-filler for engineers? EDIT: damn your editing soul, Gentle Herpes!

They told him there was pie on the other side of the bridge.

Wow, that's a horrible story. Fare thee well, Sarah Jones. I also hope the producers get hit with what lawyers like to call "punitive fucking damages".

"Mister Allman, can you explain to the jury why your production did not take appropriate safety precautions?"
"Do you really want to hear the truth, or would you rather I play 'Whipping Post'?"
[Jury] "Whipping post!!"
Dun da nah na nah na, dun da nah na nah na, dun da nah na nah na, duh duh…

I thought that was his brother, Boeb.

Ah. Thanks.

I'm always baffled as to how people can get hit by trains, which are loud and easily visible to the naked eye. It probably wasn't her fault, but my mind boggles a bit because I'm a jerk.

Doewug then.

Ohll have two sodas, two doegs, and ah two ice cream bahhhs!

That's what SHE said!

*strains brain trying to think of a joke concerning gays and lube, draws a blank*

Jean d'Argent

They're not fit to open for a Russian rock band.

Are their other songs also the worst?

*glances sidelong at Dikachu's clearly uncircumcised protuberance*

I prefer Ontario's "Live Free or Don't, It's Up to You".

Well, that partially explains why your cock is in my ass.

No, that's the Not Tea Party. (*punches self*)

Presumed Canadian, starring the incomparable voice of Adam Sandler as a polite but flatulent beaver, trapped in a world he can't understand.