You really think the rest of the league is OK with Goodell pulling punishments out of his ass that keeps putting the league in the news?

This is like the saddest, wrinkliest, whiniest, dick measuring contest on record.

Stupid sexy flounders.

Kind of dickish to be so callous about it, but yeah there’s a certain “play with fire/get burned” element to this.

“Wait, when normal people stop working they stop getting paid? That’s messed up.”

I think he should have to play the first 4 games with a ball COMPLETELY deflated... Like ur dad makin u smoke the whole pack when he catches you smoking cigs! Ha!

Simmons’s contract is up September 30th. Announcing you’re not renewing a guy’s deal nearly five months in advance? I’m comfortable calling that a firing.

I do government HR, so it’s a little different. In theory, ESPN/Disney could have put any number of non-disclosure items in his contract. If I terminate someone and then settle with them afterwards, I’ll throw NDA items in there for stuff like the settlement terms, etc. There are ways of getting around that, though.…

Speaking from an HR standpoint: having your contract cancelled is more or less the exact same thing as being fired. If you have an employee whose employment terms are governed by a contract that needs explicitly renewal every so often, then non-renewing the contract is, in effect, terminating the employee.…

PFTCommenter

If only he had shit on ESPN instead. We could have called him Deadspin the Dolphin.

can jalopnik start a sub website that lists all of the open track days at every track in the usa. please. need this.

Never lift!! (Your fingers off the keyboard)

I bet this isn't the first time you've tried that joke, is it?

Hey Dzhokar, counting yourself, how many virgins will you find on the other side?

“Too soon.”

That...actually makes it a pretty half-decent burn.

Hasn’t Anheuser-Busch been doing this for years?

DEAR SO CALLED “JELOPNIC,”