Morons. They were playing Kentucky.

A NHL player wuldnt leave time on the clock

The sooner people realize McCarthy is in the top 5 of the funniest people who ever lived ever the better off we’ll all be.

Went to a bar in Chicago, total hipster neighborhood, to meet up with friends. Some rail thin bartender with a handlebar mustache scoffed at me when I asked him if what his favorite beer was, like I was supposed to know. So now I go to my corporate job every single day and I will move up the management ladder until…

This is how I’m imagining it.

I don’t have photos, but within a month you will be writing about how Cruz’s behavior at these games, which I’m sure involves copious elbows, calling a foul every time someone breathes on him, and jacking up a shot every time he gets the ball, has made him the most hated man in Washington.

Wow, how did that kid get ahold of Trump’s speech?!

That’s not even close to all of the professional teams here. You forgot the A’s, Angels, Ducks, Giants, 49'ers, Sharks, and USC.

What kind of monster plays backyard ball without his father

Don’t worry. The right to work and 20 week abortion bans will probably be signed into law by next week.

That’s because it’s socialist soccer. If it was fuhbaw or baebaw, he’d be shoveling gold coins into giant canvas bags.

At this point we kind of need the worst to happen. It’s the only way America will learn. The 2nd Bush Administration apparently wasn’t enough of an unmitigated disaster to teach anyone a lesson, and the catastrophes it caused apparently weren’t clearcut enough for morons to not be able to blame the fallout on liberals…

Well.... President Obama is a Constitutional Law scholar, and a successful politician, and generally a pretty cerebral guy.

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

Wherever they land, they should sell stadium naming rights to Comcast and become the OverChargers.

Newt is the living embodiment of what stupid people think a smart person sounds like.

Was riding an elevator with a massive hangover and Don Rumsfeld strolls in. After the doors closed I ripped a nasty beer fart, looked at Rummy and said “There’s a weapon of mass destruction that even you could find, asshole”.

I stayed at a hotel in San Antonio when the Suns were playing the Spurs in the playoffs. The night before the game I was in the hotel bar, and Mike Breen, Jon Barry and Jeff Van Gundy,were who was televising the game for ESPN, were at the other table. Van Gundy got a phone call, and he just started yelling into the…

It warms the cockles of my heart knowing that Dave Attell is as cool as I think he is.

This story both makes me incredibly happy and incredibly sad. Happy, because I FUCKING KNEW IT. And sad, because I fucking knew it.