Reading that description, I’m Lisa Simpson seeing the advertisement for The Yahoo Serious Film Festival right now.

“losing to the power house that is Bermuda”

I am terribly disappointed that the fire hydrant is not spewing water 80 feet in the air and dozens of children have not come to frolic in it. Another Hollywood myth shattered.

Today, I saw and was able to stop one of the littlest old ladies I’ve ever seen, who was driving this:

“[Tyreek Hill] is so small and black, if you squeeze him really hard he’ll turn into a diamond”

Real talk - this was simple and elegant. Thank you. 

Also, Tommy John only ever hurt his arm once, and the surgical procedure named after him heals arms.

The only thing I hate more than people over reacting to real satire is people using fake satire as an excuse to be racist.

One of the funnier things about this situation is that the 49ers guy in charge of getting this stadium built, Paraag Marathe, is on the board of directors of the latest attempt to bring decent governance to the sport of cricket in the USA, USA Cricket. It’s uh, not going well. Marathe was announced last August. Since…

In the Biblical book of Genesis, there’s the story of Lot who was saved from the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As Lot and his family escape, his wife turns to look at the destruction and is turned into a pillar of salt. 

Turning into salt? That’s asking a Lot.

Do you see a 2006 G6 on the road today?

Keep in mind that the MSRP value of that car counts 100% as income towards whether they fall in that bracket or not. An extra $20k is a lot.

The first few time I saw him, I thought it was cool that they had rules expert Mike Pereira around to explain the rules during games.  More recently, though, I’ve grown frustrated that the rules of football are so complex and convoluted that a “rules expert” is required in order to explain the rules of the game.

They are tattoos, it's the full lyrics to Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot.

If they rewind the video far enough they will see when Johnny Manziel snuck the jersey into the museum in the first place.

I assume he’s referring to working for Clear Channel, which later became iHeart.

U guys keep printing I worked at numerous radio stations over my 15 years in florida..i was at .@iHeartRadio for 14years

Censorship. First amendment. Left wing media conspiracy. Snowflakes.