And if we’re getting real here, the opening lines of Eliot’s “Four Quartets” are up for discussion: “Time present and time past / Are both perhaps present in time future / And time future contained in time past.”

To be fair, this is what St. Augustine would’ve said about being a baseball player if he was a baseball player.  

Wait, but if we get rid of the amateur draft why would a team tank? YOU’VE SOLVED THE PROBLEM TOO MANY TIMES!

+1 generous lover.

“What had once been a tasteful, contemplative exploration of race and identity . . .”

“firing him without trial”? Um . . . does NPR have a judicial wing I don’t know about?

*

This photo is what people mean when they say they want to make America great again.

My first thought was, “Fucking United.”

Huh. Thanks for the info. Much obliged.

Can someone explain this?

Holy shit.

Wait, what high school is painting letters on the chests of rando students before those students do something extra vile with those letters? These dudes are shitheads, but a bunch of garbage decisions were made by the adults who are now punishing them before these dudes did their shitty thing.

I only send charcoal sketches of my dick because *I* am sophisticated.

Well, how can K-Mart pander to you if you won’t first admit that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you that they can be patronizing *about*?

Wait: using a toilet, masturbating, and eating night cheese count as three *separate* activities?

I mean, I hope he’s successful in his wack ass, self-indulgent, inept attempt to help. I just think he’s a stupid fucking narcissist using a catastrophe to build his brand or whatever. I also think he should fuck himself. Sorry!

But what about the obvious benefit of having a former baseball player on the ground? He could take care of *all* the baseball-related disaster relief.

It’s weird, but I actually hate him *more* right now.

You do realize that evolution operates on an enormous scale and has nothing to do with something like “inherited intelligence,” right?